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Wednesday, November 12, 2008

SPM is fun .......NOT!!!!

Today was my second day as an SPM invigilator.

When I was a student - I thought that the invigilators had it easy-peasy.

Rosalynn's view of an invigilator's work:
  1. Come in
  2. Distribute papers
  3. Give instructions
  5. Collect papers.
  6. Go home.
(since I cannot use the Lord's name in vain, I'm using Kean Ghee's instead - it looks just as impactful :p)

I was so wrong! Oh. so. wrong!

Firstly, there are quite a few days during the four-weeks of hell where I have to go down to the SAFE-ROOM (bilik kebal) in PPD to get the kiddies' question papers. On these days, I have to leave home before 6am!!!!! (other days I get to leave home at 6.45am, which isn't so bad).

Then, when I get to my designated school, I fill in some paperwork, fiddle around preparing the answer booklets/question papers bla bla bla.

The sickening part begins right after the head examiner announces:

"Pelajar-pelajar boleh mula menjawab sekarang."

After those words, my brain shuts down to basic processes: breathing, blinking and walking. THAT's ALL I GET TO DO FOR AS LONG AS THE BLASTED PAPER LASTS!!!!

For the hyper-multi-tasker like myself - it's friggin hell!!!

I am assigned to a school hall. It sits about 188 students. There are about 16 rows and 11 columns. About 15 minutes into the paper, I'd start getting really restless and agitated. You'll see me prowling up and down the aisles like a caged tiger.

A whole tour of the entire 11 columns takes me approx 5 minutes on foot.

Question: How many 5 minutes are there in 2 and a half friggin hours? (the answer is 30)

Damnations, it sucks to the super very-dest max! Half the time, I subtly alleviate my levels of boredom (and aching feet) by stopping to stand behind some random student - reading or pretending to read over their shoulder.

I remember that I hated teachers doing that when I was a student because it was such great pressure, so I usually lean over and tell them:

"Don't worry, I don't teach this subject and I have absolutely no idea what the answers are. I'm just bored and curious, so just continue what you're doing and ignore me." (Accompanied by a big fat reassuring smile)

So far, it's worked :) and I've had the pleasure of seeing some really amazing scripts...hahaha

Case in point:

To answer an English essay entitled, "My perfect future husband/wife", a boy answered:
"...My future wife must be sexy and attractive; (so that) I must feel like kissing and hugging her when I come home from work everyday" - wahhhhhahahahaha

To answer the same question, another BOY answered: "My perfect future husband...." -well, okaaayyyyy....

Oh, and another kid wears the funniest t-shirts under his uniform. The other day, he had on one that says:

"The person wearing this t-short is a policeman. Now, lie flat on your back and do exactly what this nice policeman wants you to do."

It's as clear as day - he's chosen to wear his threadbarest shirt - I wonder why no one's commenting on it yet :p

While I'm not reading over shoulders or t-shirts, I usually find myself wandering aimlessly to my two happy spots in the exam hall. As you'd imagine - by this time I would be nothing more than a zombie walking on air. And thus, I can't help but gravitate towards my two 'clouds'. "Clouds?" I hear you ask. Actually, they're two large-sized students with wide, puffy white backs (courtesy of their white uniforms). Seriously, when I happen to walk towards them, I always manage to notice their existence from about 10 meters away - and I always go, "Mmmm, white fluffy clouds/mattresses - I wanna sleep" (insert Homer-like voice here). Sorry kiddos, I don't mean to offend, but you keep me sane with your backs.

OMG - reading the paragraph above has convinced me that invigilating SPM is turning me into a stark, raving loonatic! Arghhhhhhhhhh

Anyway, to round things off, I usually pace around for an average of 2 hours; the only thing keeping me alive would be the promised call of:

"Masa telahpun tamat. Pelajar-pelajar diminta behenti menulis."

After that, it's usually all rainbows and unicorns till the next round of paper. Like I said, this sux, and I can't believe I still have 3 more weeks to go!


HaiRy AzZy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
HaiRy AzZy said...

hahaha... i can totally understand how u feel! i felt like a stark lunatic too when i had to invigilate for final paper exams in UiTM last semester, peeping at possibly every student's crotch (coz i was told they cud keep a lot of things there)and ended up looking like a sex maniac. and it was only for 3 times, but still it drove me crazy. worst of all, the 3rd invigilation required me to be the Ketua Pengawas. u know lah kan how much responsibility Ketua Pengawas holds. as a mere part-timer, in a hall full of 200 ppl, i was positive i was 10x more nervous that the students themselves! simply sharing my experience, ;P

i wish u d best of luck for invigilating for 3 whole weeks!!
(but u get paid right? i wasnt!). i believe u'll develop more creative ways to entertain urself.

Rosalynn said...

Hahahaha - gosh Azrin, peeping at crotches?

I think I'll try that next! Sounds fun :p