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Wednesday, May 13, 2009

I'll read this again when I'm fifty.

Dear Rosalynn,

It's mid-May'09. The days are hot and will continue to be till Sept, according to the experts anyway. You have been working hard at school - putting it all out there. You feel happier this year as an educator - you quite frequently walk away from a class knowing that you've taught the kiddies something. Many times you pause, with your red pen waving in front of your face to make that next correction, and sigh a mini-sigh of contentment.

Extra curricular activities have also been a huge feature since Jan. You've trained a platoon of Police Cadets and they've done so well and done you proud. Many of them are vastly different from the whiny, emo, attention-seeking kids from last year. You've also managed to gather 4 awesome spellers under your wings and helped them with their SIR competition. They didn't win, but you're convinced it was just nerves, technicalities and the word 'rhizome' that did 'em in.

The higher-ups have made you KP because they need someone and they thought you'd be up for the job. You relish the opportunity to learn but abhor the workload. Also, you feel very old when a newbie teacher (as opposed to your meagre 1.5 yrs of exp) calls you 'Kak' when they ask for your signature. Since your school wants to win the Cluster School award, and it's already in the finals, documentation-work means your ugly scrawl is everywhere on the panel files. You need a better signature - you know it when people say, "Err, not initial la, sign properly."

You've been taking medication for stress. It's perfectly legal and it's doing things to your body. It's called food. It's awesome and it's making you fatter. Like your friend, Pn Tan tells you - "that's dangerous". So you try to counter all those comfort-calories by throwing yourself into all sorts of physical activities. For a while, it was marching. Then, it was volleyball. Volleyball's still on - every Thursday, in fact, but you suck. Unfortunately, all that lunging and throwing yourself around isn't doing much. I guess it's true what they tell you - in your late-20s, you put on weight even if you only breathe. You freak out because it's only 4 months more till the wedding.

Ahh, the wedding. Many things need doing, but you are confident that they will get done. Meanwhile, you are praying that you'll remember that hymn you dreamt about (for the sacrament) just the other night. Also, you hope the bank account balance will balance right after all the wedding costs. Thankfully, the groom's been perfect :)

House-hunting's still a major part of your itinerary every free weekend - there hasn't been many. You've combed through so many housing developments in Jb that you fear the salespeople will know you by name soon. You freak out because it seems jinxed. Everytime you love a house- it's sold out. And the prices for homes keep on escalating. You think you may have to settle soon - not for second or third best, but for far, far, far less.

You have many, many dreams and the part that scares you most is that they don't involve going back to uni. You want to do that next degree - but you fear that it won't be done out of love- perhaps just for career advancement or other opportunities. And you can't bear to let your family down.

You make many plans with the love of your life. You wonder if you'll manage to fulfill any of them. You wonder if you'll make enough money to go eating and traveling around the world like you both want to. You both want a dream home to go home to. Then a-wake-up call last night tells you that those things aren't the most important in your life right now. You should enjoy living life the way you want to.

Enjoy your job.

Find fun in watching shows like Top Chef and No Reservations.

Waste time on Wikipedia - finding out crazy nuggets of info like - lobsters can potentially live forever because they don't age! WTF!

Treat yourself to fine food (ie Ginanni's) when you want to relax and romance each other.

Play games - even when it's Scrabble and you know you'll whoop his ass. Or play badminton - especially when you know he'll whoop yours!

Spend 5-10 minutes every night lying on the bed and draw rainbows, build castles, fly kites, whatever you call it and fall asleep without even knowing that you did.

You're tired but happy. You hope it stays this way for a while.


Trishomachine. said...


I constantly need to remind myself to stop and smell the grass and to laugh out loud when someone in class does something silly. I enjoy my moments in the classroom the most though I dread tho paperwork and other non-teaching duties that teachers are blessed with.

To keep myself sane, I try to travel as often as I can. It is the one thing that I look forward to each school break. The planning and the researching and the dashing for AirAsia free tickets keep the good adrenaline rushing =)

All the best with the wedding prep darls! And the house hunting....awww! I'm jealous!

Btw, I dont know what Wikipedia told you, but lobsters age pretty well in my stock pot!


ahseng said...

and when you do read your time blog-capsule 23 years from now, do think back of what I have planned and where I am then (now). I have talked lots about my dreams and hopefully 23 years from now (now, if you are 50), I am happily living my dream and I hope/wish/pray that you live yours too. For now, be happy today for present is a gift.

See you in 2032

ah^kam_koko' said...

The life & times of a young teacher who's getting married!

Rosalynn said...

Hahaha now I know who reads my blog!

Sawi, you are so right, we need to constantly remind ourselves since no one else will do it for us! Abt the hse-hunting bit - I'm already jealous that u get a discount when ur turn comes!!!! (Right? - I think u've mentioned it b4)

Seng - whatever - just make sure u make room for me

Jarod - Hahaha, sometimes lifeless and timeless...